I guess it’s time for an update. Passed time, really.
You could say I’m doing okay on the exercise front, but I’m disappointed in myself. I started out very strong, hitting the YMCA five times in the first week. I felt amazing, and I loved going. The next week was down to four times, but we’ve been pretty consistent with that. We were able to meet with a trainer three times and were given some different workouts to do. I enjoyed that, and would like to do more. This week, though, husband and I are exhausted. We have both vetoed gym time in favor of an extra hour of sleep. Because I don’t drive, I’m dependent on others to get me there. My sister, who lives with us, and who has taken me on occasion, is out of town for three weeks. Because of these things, I have only been twice this week, and one of those times was pretty short. I’m not done, though….I WILL keep it up. I’ve even talked about finding workout videos online to do at home, but I have yet to actually do that.
I have also been working hard to modify my eating. I loaded the fridge with fresh fruits and veggies this week. I had decided to focus one change each week, in an effort to make small changes. I chose spinach for this week. Monday night we had a Spinach Rice Casserole with baked tilapia. I don’t think the kids cared for it, but husband and I really enjoyed it! I didn’t use brown rice, though, which I will do in the future. I just have to use up things we already have. The rest of the week didn’t really go as planned with the spinach, but I’ve had plenty of spinach salads in various forms. Either way, I’ve had plenty of spinach, and other veggies, and that’s a good thing!
Not all food days have been so successful. Last Saturday I just HAD to have biscuits and gravy, which is one of my favorite foods. I decided that small changes were necessary, and if I denied myself I’d binge later anyway. I made biscuits and gravy and eggs, and I started with one biscuit, just enough gravy to say I’d had some, and an egg. And then I had another biscuit and more gravy and even another biscuit. I can’t remember for sure, but I’m almost positive I had three and a half large biscuits. I could not stop eating. I was angry, sad, disgusted….my emotions were all over the place. I knew what I was doing, but for that span of time, I did not care. So this is addiction. If I didn’t know it before….
I forced myself to record my food intake in the My Fitness Pal app to see what I had eaten. I knew it was “bad”, but I wanted the numbers. I wanted to know that I had consumed a healthy day’s worth of calories in one meal. I e-mailed my husband, who was at work, and told him what I had done and how I was feeling. He’s so smart, and so sweet, and does such a good job of encouraging me. Here was his response:
Sweetheart, this weight loss/better health process that we are going through is not a sprint. It isn’t even a marathon. It’s an uphill climb up a mountain. When you climb, there’s a possibility that you lose your footing and slip backwards. Doing so doesn’t mean that you won’t make it to the top. I believe in you and I love you. You can do this, I can do this, WE can do this.
So, going forward I’ve allowed myself some freedom. I’ve had some sweet tea, but it’s been cut half and half with plain tea. I’ve had a strawberry pie from McDonald’s. I’ve had too many slices of pizza and I’ve even had a bacon cheeseburger. But I’ve had spinach salads, baked fish, light yogurt, and I’ve skipped the cheese in my enchiladas and eggs. I’ve skipped desserts and I have still managed to resist pop.
Each day is a new one. Oh, and I’ve lost about 14 pounds.